Sunday, February 9, 2020

Comment Wall

Check out my project: Apsara Stories



Unfortunately the beautiful woman in this picture is not an apsara but rather Ganga the river goddess. Either way, she is a beautiful woman and the apsaras are beautiful too. I just really liked this picture.

Picture:
Shantanu meeting Ganga. Photocopy from page 284 of Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie (1913). Source: flickr


13 comments:

  1. Hi Alexis,

    I like the picture that you selected for your banner as it gives us a good look at what the Apsara's look like. I also like that you have a very detailed introduction that goes over each of the different Apsaras. Without this background I think that I would be very confused as to the different characters in your upcoming stories. Also I really liked the images that you provided at the end of the introduction. I think one thing that you could do to make your introduction even better is to move the bullet points you have to under the corresponding picture of the Apsara. This way you wouldn't have to scroll as much. When first reading I didn't even realize the pictures were there to be honest so maybe you could put them in the body where the bullet points are with like a text box underneath.

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  2. Hey Alexis,

    Your project looks really well thought out! I really liked how you chose three related, but very distinct stories. Even the non-physical qualities you want to mention are very different: Tilottama's brains, Menaka's purity, etc. The only comment I have is that it's a little unclear what non-physical trait you want to emphasize for Urvashi. You don't really flesh her story out the same way that you flesh out the other two story-summaries, and maybe including Urvashi's quality will help acocmplish that. Can't wait to read the stories! Good luck

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  3. Hi Alexis! The photo you chose as your banner is very beautiful, as well as the pictures you selected for each of your stories. I think it's formatted a little differently because in the Introduction page the ladies' heads are cut off. I think your introduction post is formatted very well, showcasing how unique and distinct these stories are and I'm excited to read them! I'm actually writing on Urvashi and Arjuna as well.

    One thing I would say is just to sound more confident. For example, you wrote "Each of these stories, though vaguely connected, attempts to show that apsaras, though beautiful creatures, are more than just their physical bodies." - You could cut out the vaguely connected part, as well as the attempted part and just write "Each of these stories show that apsaras, though beautiful creatures, are more than just their physical bodies." You're the expert on apsaras here! :)

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  4. Hey Alexis! Wow I love the theme around your project! The first thing that stood out to me was the huge role that these Asparas have played in ancient Indian epics. I feel like I did them a disservice as I didn't really know much about them prior to reading your introduction. I guess I would have never thought they are as powerful as you described them. It made me much more interested in the stories which involve Asparas which I know I have missed out on. I wonder how you came upon this topic? It seems more obscure than the other themes I have seen from projects in this class. I love the originality! I'm impressed with the research you have done to give a good base of knowledge about the Asparas in your introduction. What if you maybe changed your background image on your home page to your introduction? I love the original picture, but I think it would be sweet to add some different art of the nymphs to draw your audience in. I bet there is some really cool art out there!

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  5. Alexis,
    I am so excited about this project. First of all, the pictures you chose are amazing. I love your banner images and the multiple pictures on your introduction page. I've been lazy on the amount of pictures in my own project, so it's inspiring to see so much variety on your website! I also love this topic, it's making me want to learn more about these ladies, which I think I'll be able to do while following your project.
    I also read your first story, and wow! I did not expect the approach you took to it. Even just the title of the story made me laugh with surprise! It's such a funny idea for the sage to get a restraining order for Menaka. One thing I thought would be cool would be more back-and-forth between the people in courtroom. Like instead of Vishvamitra talking, and then Menaka, what if there was some objections? Or some yelling that needed to be silenced by the judge? I thought that would make it even more comical than what you have now! I'm excited to see the rest of your stories!

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  6. Hey Alexis,
    Your project looks great so far. The introduction was perfectly detailed and the addition of all the pictures helped visualize these characters that I had forgotten or hadn't heard of yet. The small excerpt over each of them is a perfect setup for their extended tales in the future.
    I was surprised to see the style of your first story after having read your introduction. The modern language and comical setting came unexpectedly after the more formal introduction, but it was a pleasant surprise. It may have been fun see more interaction during the court dispute between Menaka of Vishamitra, although I didn't mind the way you have it separated before leading up to the final decision from Brahma. The story kept me engaged throughout the tragic conclusion, so I'm looking forward to reading your other two stories about the apsaras when they come out.

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  7. Hi Alexis,
    I think your project looks really good so far. I did not know what an apsara was until reading your storybook. But after reading your introduction it all made sense, and I was prepared to read. I also thought your introduction made good use of pictures to highlight the stories. I then went to the first story and thought it was good overall. One thing I want to know is why Brahma decided against Menaka. I know that could be an artistic decision though, but it is a testament to your writing that I want to know more even after the story is over. It might be interesting to play with the script some to show Menaka trying to interrupt Vishvamitra and have Brahma shut down the interruption. Since it is a court you could throw in an "objection" because that's pretty standard. I am looking forward to reading your next two stories; thanks for teaching me about apsaras!

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  8. Hi Alexis! I commented on your project about a month back. It is really neat to see how it has progressed since then! I love your introduction--I think it does a great job of setting up your project. It was refreshing to relearn about the asparas. This time I was able to read your story Menaka! I must say I was a little confused at first but I got the right perspective as to what was going on not long into starting the story! I really enjoyed the details you added throughout the interactions--Menaka straightening her clothes nervously or taking deep breaths. It felt very realistic! Menaka and the sage Vishvamitra seemed passionate and emotional about their issues in your story. I wonder why Brahma decided to give Menaka the restraining order? It seemed to me that Menaka had a good heartfelt defense! Maybe it would be helpful to give some background into why it was such a big deal to Vishvamitra that he would fall for this woman!

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  9. Alexis,

    This is my first time coming across your project and I must say, you have it organized very well. Your introduction is very good at informing your audience about what your project is over. Then came your stories, lol. I usually hate reading, but the narratives you create are so funny. You use the ancient names, but the stories themselves are very... contemporary haha. Brahma being the judge was great. I specifically liked the story about Urvashi though because one of my stories is about Arjuna. However, I didn't know about this past he had with this aspara. I might just add something about this to my story when a do revisions to add some history to Arjuna! Anyways, overall, I really enjoyed your stories. They were fun and creative. I think there are a few grammar things here and there, but given the personality of the stories, I think its fine!

    Jake

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  10. Hi Alexis! I think this is the first time I’ve visited your portfolio and I wanted to start by saying that I found your image selection be intriguing! I jumped into the reading and saw that you had a very interesting format. You had things split up into small and concise sentences and thoughts and It gave me a sort of springy feeling as I read in almost type-writer fashion. You did a phenomenal job of incorporating real emotion into the dialogue and it felt like I was watching a real interaction between individuals. I got a good chuckle at the idea of gossip being the focus here, but you pulled it off quite well! It’s hard to throw out suggestions here because I feel you made some creative decisions to do certain things. If I had to make a comment about anything, it would be that about halfway through I got a bit disoriented on the speaker, but that could be a failure on my part. Great job!

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  11. Hello Alexis!

    Your stories are both so full of humor; I literally LOLed when reading them!

    The setting of your first story, Menaka, was entertaining, serious, comical and educational all in one. Your grammar was another bonus; I didn't come across any mistakes. Even though the story line was nothing related to a paternity court hearing, the dialogue made me think of those episodes on Lauren Lake's Paternity Court... the two parents, the kid, the drama, everything LOL. And the extra actions with the asterisks (i.e. *sniffs*, *glares at Menaka*) made me laugh every time. This whole story was so on point and kept the same exciting energy throughout.

    Your second story, Urvashi, was relatable and somewhat... explicit hehe. I felt like I was reading a text conversation with the alternating between blue and white chat bubbles. Haha! The only piece of advice I have is to add the name of whoever is speaking in front of the dialogue, just like how you did in Menaka. It would make things a little easier to understand who is saying what throughout the story.

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  12. Hello,

    I just finished reading the Menaka story and I have to say that I enjoyed it. I liked how you decided to set it up as a dialogue. I could vividly imagine the whole scene with the judge and the two defendants. It reminded me shows like Judge Judy. Anyway, I like how Brahma got onto both characters when they outspoke rather than just one of them. I thought the situation that was going on - Vishvamitra wanting to get a restraining order against Menaka while Menaka explaining that it wasn’t entirely her fault - was well planned out. The fact that you used a restraining order instead of a curse gives the overall story a modern feel to it. I liked that part a lot. I didn’t really see any grammatical or spelling errors. Overall, nicely done!

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  13. Alexis,

    One of the first thing that caught my eye was the inclusion of the marvelous pictures of the Apsaras (or the people dressed up as them)! I'll have to admit that, before reading your stories on your website, this is the first time I've heard about them! I wished I had read more about them prior to reading your stories. But whatever the case, I think that the general format of your stories and general website was easy to understand and easy to navigate, which are the two most important components of a website! As far as the stories themselves, one of the first things that I noticed was the formatting of such stories, creating it in the sense of back-and-forth dialogue between the characters of the story, which is something I haven't seen done before. It was almost like I was reading the script of a play! Overall, this is very well done and I look forward to reading more of your stories!

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